The primary NarcissismFrom the beginning, the infant is an emotional part of the mother, what it also was biologically. The mother is omnipotent in fulfilling the child's wants. It only needs to want food, and then comes a big wonderfull breasts full of the sweetest milk. You could say that the child in this stage sees itself as the center of a warm and affectionate world, which is structured solely to serve its needs. Freud calls this unity of mother and child "the primary narcissism".
Venus from Laussel has been found below a cliff overhang at Laussel in Dordogne not far from Lascaux, France. The place is today assumed to have been a cult place for a mother goddess. It is from the ice age and it can not be determined whether it is created by the Cro Magnon or Neanderthal man.
But, alas, life in paradise will not last forever. There is a real world "out there" that is not the child's mother, and it is quite indifferent to any random child. By this realization the child feels vulnerable, helpless and defenseless. This feeling of helplessness will make him even more dependent on her mother's support against the unforgiving reality. To dampen his anxiety the child builds up an idea of an omnipotent mother, who Freud calls "the maternal imago." To escape the anxiety that the child feels about the encounter with the heartless reality, it will develop a longing to return to the original narcissistic state of fusion with this idealized mother. Freud says that this unconscious fantasy and longing to escape the cruel reality is a part of "ego-ideal", a sort of hedonistic drive, which competes with the "super-ego" to attract "Ego's" attention. The super-ego wants us to follow the father's commandments, do our duty and act morally right, while that part of the ego-ideal tempts us to indulge ourself in hedonistic pleasures, like the child once saw itself as the center of the world receiving food and love from the almighty mother. It is believed that it is the dream of the original narcissism, which motivates us to seek wealth.
Note, that so far the development has been the same for both boys and girls.
The Male RoleBut, boys and girls are different. Throughout his life Freud was convinced that women in their subconscious mind are envious of men, because they have a penis.
The Mother Goddess Isis with the Horus child. Bronze statue from the Egyptian Karnak period - 664-332 BC - the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.
When the boy is around six years old, he will begin to perceive the father as a rival and have fantasies of destroying him to get the mother to himself. But after some time the boy comes to recognize that he has no chance against the adult male. Specifically, the boy unconsciously is afraid that his father would castrate him and thus end the rivalry. To avert this danger the boy learns to predict the father's punishment and make his father's rules part of his subconscious mind; he learns to punish himself in a similar way, as he predicts that his father would punish him. In this way the part of the subconscious mind, as Freud calls the "super ego", is created, which is our unconscious moral guardian.
The boy thinks that the father has something that the mother wants, and this is the reason why the omnipotent mother allows this man to stay around. Therefore, the boy becomes unconsciously convinced, that by growing up and becoming like the father and follow his "super-ego's" moral commandments, he will be able to fusion with someone, who resembles the mother and thus the "maternal imago".
Thus the male role is created, following Freud. It is our destiny and entire motivation to strive against a fusion with somebody like the mother and the "maternal imago" and feel the blessing from her warm presence. As Mick Jagger from Rolling Stones said: "Why do you think that we work so hard on writing songs, practicing and traveling around the world giving concerts?"
Buster Larsen on the bench in the role as Thomas in Leif Panduro's television series, "Goodbye Thomas", from 1968. Thomas' wife wants a divorce because she does not love him anymore, "goodbye Thomas" she says. Thomas then brakes to pieces in loneliness and alcohol.
The ideal all-powerful mother, represented by the woman thus keeps the keys to man's happiness in her hand. But it also gives her an eerie and frightening power. For she is just a woman, and women have their unpredictable moods and whims, she can give him the love he desires so intensely, or she can simply declare that she does not love him anymore, she does not even have to give any reason.
The mother is the obbject of men's desires, but the closer fusion man achieves with the woman, the more helpless he becomes to her whims and caprices, and less he can stand being totally rejected and abandoned. The more he approximates the infantile relationship with the mother, the weaker he becomes and the stronger she becomes.
In 1968 came Leif Panduro TV series "Goodbye Thomas". It was a huge success, it made the streets empty, when it was broadcasted. Thomas was a middle-aged radio and television dealer, an ordinary Danish man without much originality. His wife wanted a divorce, because she did not love him anymore. He went to see her and begged her to take him back. "Goodbye Thomas," she simply answered. Then he disintegrated in loneliness and alcohol.
The Female RoleAlso the female role is created in the unconscious mind by the "ego ideal", that is a fantasy and longing, again to fusion with the omnipotent mother, the "maternal imago" (Chasseguet-Smirgel).
Mother and child.
According to Freud the creation of the female role is conditioned by the fact that girls have no penis. The little girl sees initially also the father as a rival, but she soon realizes that the competition is already over, she has already been castrated. She feels envy toward those, who have this attribute, whose attractiveness Freud never doubted, and she hopes that the father will give her one (she wants to be accepted as a boy). But as time pass by the girl resignes and gives up the idea, and she holds a passive attitude to the father and men in general.
Eventually the girl realizes that she can become a mother herself. She can have a child that she may have completely in her power, possibly a boy with the desired body part. She can even herself create the sphere of warmth and closeness around a "maternal imago" that men so fiercely desire to stay around. Therefore, she does not - as the boys - need to acquire all the father's moral rules in a "super-ego" and to perform all sorts of achievements and deeds to deserve a place in the warm and loving realm. She can namely herself become a representation of "maternal imago" just by growing up.
Masculinity and CultureMen have a fundamental need to accomplish something, great feats, inventions, heroic actions or other great achievements. Just as we need food, drink and shelter, we also need achievements, deeds, which aim to protect, expand and support the warm and loving sphere around the woman and her representation of "maternal imago." Men need to perform achievements basicly in order to appear worthy to win women's love and recognition.
Virgin Mary, the Mother of God - The ancient Russian icon Feodorovskaya Virgin Mary was very important for the Romanov family. The icon can be traced back to the Apostle Lucas.
We know the image of the lone man, who lives in a messy and dilapidated house surrounded by an overgrown garden. This is because all that men do, go to work, mow grass and trim the hedge, paint and repair, construct outdoor kitchen and playhouses for the children, it's achievements that they do for "her" and the children. If "she" is not present, it all becomes to some meaningless irritating duties; a cloud has passed the sun.
Men's achievements and work create improved material circumstances for the women and their children. With his deeds and work, he can push the border on the heartless reality back and create space for fun, free play and imagination. With his targeted activity he can expand the sphere around the female representation of "maternal imago," in which he thus hopes to be allowed to stay. Men's heroic deeds and achievements of course aim to defend this warm and loving sphere, which is the meaning of their lives, but it can also be an effort to present themselves as worthy to be admitted in this sphere.
But what if the woman refuses to give admiration for the man's achievements? It may happen that the woman perceives his deeds as meaningless selfish activities.
Then the male role will disappear like hot air. Men's achievements only serve their purposes to the extent that they are appreciated by women. A wife, who systematically criticizes the man's lack of career and demeans his work with repair and improvements of the home, will in the long run dissolve his male role, and thus their relationship. Which perhaps also is her intention.
Guan Yin, the Buddhist Virgin Mary, seated on a lotus flower. Many men prefer to pray to Guan Yin instead of Buddha. At that time Buddhism came to China for more than a thousand years ago, Guan Yin was a more sexless intellectual idendity, but over time she had assumed the guise of a woman, because men need women.
It puts men in a terrible psychological position. A man's right to his presence with the woman is always tenuous, his role is always subject of rejection and setbacks. A man may at any time, risk losing his place with a woman. The only thing that she needs to do is to say: "I do not love you any more." There is nothing he can do about that, because the very thing that he loves with her is the woman's representation of the almighty original mother, who graciously has granted him a place in her presence. If he does not recognize her right to refuse him; then she would no longer represents the omnipotent mother. The precondition of the woman's freedom to reject him is the psychological root of the entire process.
Feminists do not understand this basic psychological condition at all. They think that the male psychology is determined by men's needs to control women. Men do not want to control women. They want to be sure of women's love. Attempts to obtain admiration is the man's way to try to maintain a position of importance in the woman's life without threatening her omnipotence. It is within the scope of this omnipotence that the male role arises, and therefore he can only control the woman by undermining his own feelings. If the woman was not omnipotent, and therefore not able to reject the man, she would no longer be object of male desire. This is the reason why women always have the power in the relationship between a man and a woman, because it is the almighty women, who is the subject of man's love.
It is in this context, one will find the causes of men's violence against women. True, it manifests an attempt to control women, but it is driven by the frustration of absurdity and hopelessness in this endeavor. It's dumb, just because it understands itself as to be outside the reach of language and reason. Men's violence against women is not an expression of the essence of masculinity, but of its collapse.
The Importance of Men's Work in Western CultureThe purpose of a man's achievements, work, is to make himself worthy to be loved and admired by women. But recognition of the strength of this need creates in him a great fear of being refused and destroyed; he fears that his life's project might not succeed, that he he could end up as a looser. One can call it a sort of exam anxiety. As he realizes that success is ultimately important to him, while the favor of women is coincidental and unpredictable, he is gripped by fear of failure.
Left: The Hindu Goddess Mahishasuramardini riding on a lion - the almighty mother of all things - both gods and mortals.
Right: The fourarmed Sogdian goddess Nana with the sun in one hand and the moon in another - seated on a lion - surely also a mother goddess. Sketched after a mural found in an excavated house in Uzbekistan. In the Scandinavian mythology Nana had a more withdrawn role as Balder's wife.
Such a deep and fundamental fear can not be consciously recognized, and therefore it shows up as an autonomous, unexplained, unquestioned drive to achieve something, to create something, to make a difference, a restlessness and a curiosity that only can be explained with reference to the unconscious mind, to where it has been displaced.
It is this compulsive character of men's work that is the reason why that cultural creation has been largely a male activity. To the extent that the female identity revolves around the identification with the "maternal imago", such an obsessive quest for achievements is not present with her. Women will most often feel that they are already a representation of "maternal imago" and resting in themselves, and therefore they have no need for such a restless quest for fame and glory.
Left: Two women who greet each other with a hug.
Right: Two men greet each other by shaking hands.
Women can love each other, while men respect each other.
In modern times, Danish men also have begun to hug, when they meet another man. I do not believe that it feels good for a man to feel another man's unshaven cheek. It's just something men do, because they have given in to feminist's standing requirement that men must also show emotions.
Men are competitive by nature. A man feels a deep uncertainty about whether his life's project will succeed or not; this is why he measures himself against other men. He feels that if he is in the lead, it can not go very wrong.
Another characteristic side of men's work is his dependence on rules and a degree of impersonality. Communication in connection with men's Work activity is guided by rules rather than by emotions. The reason for this is that men's feelings are elsewhere, they are with the women. They can not attach themselves to each other based solely on emotions, simply because they do not have so many feelings for each other.
The container ship Edith Maersk and her sister ship Emma Maersk are the world's largest container ships, specialists estimate that they each can carry 15,200 TEU. The ship is 397 meters long and 56 meters wide.
Built by Odense Steelshipyard and delivered to the owner A. P. Møller in 2007.
The construction of Edith Mærsk is just one of countless feats accomplished by white men.
Sure, one can easily lament this lack of feelings, but it is worthwhile to note that it is this insensitivity, which makes possible the logic and rationality that has been the reason that men's labor organizations throughout history have been so targeted and effective, as it has.
This is a point that feminists completely ignore, because they contrast rationality with feelings, and they identify feelings with warmth and love. But rationality must be contrasted, not with feelings, but with irrationality. And feelings must be seen to encompass not only warmth and love, but also coldness, hatred, envy, jealousy, rage and resentment; that are after all also feelings. And that is when we allow the complex game of conflicting emotions to displace reason, that irrationality will come to dominate our decisions.
ISS, International Space Station, has been occupied continuously since the 2. November 2000 - a continuous human presence in space over the last nearly 11 years.
Achievement-oriented, controlling, compulsive, displaced, competitive, rulebound, unemotional, logical, rational, hierarchical - these are the characteristics of work done on the basis of Western men's psychology.
Throughout history, such organizations made up by white men, with great creativity created the Western civilization, the industrial revolution and the whole of modern society and thus all the comforts, that feminists take for granted.
Consciously and unconsciously men's performance are directed towards women and their children, men's total quest is basically motivated by love for them and and for life. It is difficult to see how men, as defined through this work, can be such oppressive monsters such as feminists describe them..
The Problem of RealityFreud and Professor Schwartz defines "ego ideal" as a fantasy, we all carry within us, which include a dream about to fusion with an idealized omnipotent mother, as the child once was a part of the mother, a dream of returning to the original "primary narcissism" in which the whole world seems structured for the sole purpose of affectionately service the child.
Oedipus at the colonnade - oil painting by Jean-Antoine-Theodore Giroust - The Greek King Laios of Thebes had been foretold by the oracle in Delphi that he should have a son, who would kill him and marry his mother. Since Laios got a boy with his queen Iocaste, he decided for fear of the oracle prophecy to ask one of his shepherds to put the little boy out in the wilderness. The boy was found and adopted by the King and Queen of Corinth, who named him Oedipus. They did not know his true origin. Tragically the prophecy became real.
The term Oedipus complex is used in psychoanalysis as a term for an unconscious, sexually explicit love for the mother and an equal hatred for the father, emerged from a very early childhood and usually quickly repressed into the subconscious mind.
The father first turns up to the child as the parent, who is not the mother. He is an uninvited guest, who disturbs the perfect narcissistic idyll between mother and child (Chasseguet-Smirgel). For the child, he is a threat, a blocking and an unwelcome presence. It seems for the child that if it could just get rid of the father, it could achieve complete and perfect happiness (Chasseguet-Smirgel). In this way the father becomes the personification of pure evil.
This is the psychological core of the feminist theory about the oppressive men. The problem is simply that the objectionable aspects of this apparition does not come from the father, as such, but from the fact that he represents reality, by which Freud and Professor Schwartz understand the real objective world as it exists outside the narcisistic nexus of mother and child, a cruel world, which is not intended to serve the child affectionately. Thus, the rejection of the father is basically a denial of reality itself.
Within the framework of the traditional family, the man and the woman's role represent different orientations to reality because of the two sexes' different relation to "ego-ideal" and its "maternal imago".
A man feels he must earn his right stay in "maternal imago's" warm intimacy. "Maternal imago" represents his longing for love. He has an unconscious, fundamental fear that his life's project can fail, and therefore he must constantly direct his attention to the real world, which is populated by other agents, who do not automatically love him and his loved ones.
Alice in Wonderland - In the original version of the MMPI personality test appeared the statement "I like Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carol." Critics of the test could not see, what this had to do with for example a work situation. The statement had very likely scored on femininity (ie. not feminism, but let's say "womanism").
But according to Freud and Schwarz it is such that women, unlike men, do not have the same attention to the real world, "reality"; they are more oriented towards their own feelings. So maybe it is nevertheless true that interest in "Alice in Wonderland" signals a certain lack of masculinity.
A woman, however, can be a representation of "maternal imago" simply by growing up. Also for her the ego-ideal includes longing for love. But she can herself create the warm sphere of maternal imago without having to perform hard work, feats and accomplishments. She rests in herself, and her orientation is towards the fantasy of being both parties in a child/mother matrix, and therefore she will more likely understand the indifferent real world as something abnormal.
The dissolution of boundaries that marks the traditional female role needs to be understood in terms of the logic of mothering, and specifically in terms of the immediacy and warmth that she brings to the child. Later on, as Freud noted, it also adds to the closeness of the relationship of male and female, but this is only to the extent that the woman identify the man as an infant. Indeed, generaly, we can see that what may be called the female style, being nice, extenuating, warm and nurturant, is itself a consequence of the identification with the maternal imago and the fantasy to be both parts in the mother/child nexus.
Both the boy and the girl originally sees the father as a disruptive agent for the hostile reality. But the little boy realizes that he can not create his own "maternal imago", he has to earn the right to stay around it - by imitating his father, causing the boy to get a different relationship with the father than the little girl. He makes his father's rules and values to his his own. In this process; he builds his super-ego, which is the moral part of our unconscious mind. Here is the place of morality, values and conscience. Men learn to punish themselves, when they have done something wrong. Freud says: "You don't have to punish me father. I'll punish myself."
Anders Breivik is taken away in a police car. He smiles because he feels that he has done his duty - the worst is over.
Anders Breivik grew up without his father, like so many boys do now a days. Never the less he had built strict, well frankly cruel, demands on himself, about what he should do for his fatherland. This suggests that although a boy grows up without a father, he will still desperately search his surroundings to find values and rules that he can fill into the - for a man - so un-expendable super-ego. They may find their values and moral rules and standards from football coaches, sport teachers, from films or history, and their super-ego may well be somewhat different from boys, who had a traditional upbringing.
What we see here is the traditional differentiation of gender roles. The female role involves identification with the "maternal imago." She rests in a sphere of warmth and intimacy, she maintains the possibility of dissolution of boundaries and fusion, which the developing child needs. To facilitate this role, she needs the man to engage reality and to keep it, so to speak, at arms' length, so that her own immersion in fusion can be maintained without leading to catastrophe for herself and the children. Therefore, she will appreciate the man's achievements, work and feats, allow him to stay with her in the sphere of warmth and intimacy and offer healing of the wounds that his work with the real world entails. In this way it makes sense for a man to perform heroic deeds, achievements and work that are dangerous, strenuous or painful.
Feminism means Repudiation of RealityThe man's role involves, as mentioned above, denying anxiety and keeping reality away from the sphere of warmth and closeness created by the woman's idendification with the omnipotent mother figure. If he is successful the woman may retain her identification with "maternal imago". But to be successful, he must also spare her for his own pain and anxiety, and therefore he can not bring it with him into the family. From this arises the "macho" image that men tries to stand up to.
Work is pain and deprivation. Men's achievements and work were more visible in the past.
In the past the necessity of man's achievements and work was more visible. He returned to the cave with prey, wounded and exhausted, or he came tired home from the field after working all daylight hours to provide food for the family's survival.
The traditional division of labor between the sexes rests on the woman's understanding that the role of men is hard, that men, who take on this resposibilty, sacrifice themselves, that it is full of anxiety, and that the only reason, why men do it, is love. This convinces her that the dependence of the man, that she feels, is part of a mutual dependence.
One problem is, that if men's work and the male role has sufficient success in screening off the disturbing real world with its cold and indifferent laws of nature, the whole idea, that there exist a real world outside the warm and loving sphere around the woman and her representation of "maternal imago", can be lost to her. Reality can - so to speak - lose its reality.
Drive carefully - reality check ahead.
It is easy to see that modern society with its welfare and abundance may have such an effect. The modern production- and distribution-systems and the welfare system are ingeniously constructed by men in order to make life completely safe and take into account all possible hazards that could threaten women and family in a life in happiness, play and fantasy.
The consequences of such a denial of the real world will be that woman's identification with the omnipotent "maternal imago" can be total. She will no longer have any idea that she needs a man to protect her and her children against a grim reality - well, it does not exist. She will imagine that she can make life perfect only through her love and goodness, just by being herself. Her belief that the man has a function will disappear.
If this happens the man's work and achievements will be reduced to some senseless selfish activities, and the woman may feel that the man's presence in her sphere is a kind of unwanted intrusion, on which he insists for his own sake only.
Thus the feminist monster very well can have been aroused by the men themselves, because they have been so successful in their efforts to make life so safe and predictable for their loved ones, because they created the modern technology and the nation wide welfare-systems.
Further, if the understanding of work as privation and pain is lost, the whole notion of men's role and activity will change dramatically, including the traditional division of labor between the sexes.
If the father simply does what he wants, because it is, what he likes; if his activities are fun, then there obviously is something that women have been deprived and excluded from. The traditional gender roles will then be a structure of aggression, subjugation and oppression. This applies in all aspects of life, even in the family unit, which is the primary location for sexual interaction
If man's work and achievements thus basically are selfish pleasures, then follows logically from this notion that the father has caught the mother and forced her to his will. Men's sexuality will thus be identified with rape, as feminists like to portray it.
Now we can see how the changed perceptions of sexual relationships relates to the original conception of the father. The father, as we saw before, appears in the child's world as an alien force that excludes the child from the intimate relationship with the mother.
However, the father represents the real world with its harsh laws of nature and a myriad of other agents who, have their own agendas and interests, and are fairly indifferent to a random child or woman.
Therefore, if he becomes compromised, if his power over the mother may be portrayed as aggression, which only serves his own interest, if liberation from the father can be seen as the path to true happiness. So it will mean a denial of the real world, which will be replaced with beautiful dreams and imagination.
In other words, denial of reality thus becomes a fair, legitimate, liberating action. That, writes Professor Schwarz, is the real danger in feminism.
The Psykodynamic of the FamilyThe traditional family represents, what Freud and Schwarz call a bipolar model of parental raising of children. It contains both paternal and maternal elements, and recognize the differences and values of both. It leads to an image of authority that is both realistic and loving.
This could be a a traditional bipolar happy family.
In such a traditional family with both a mother and a father, the mother will in relation to the father represent the dream of the original narcissism included in the "ego ideal" and related to the child she will represent the "primary narcissism". Her unconditional love will make the child feel that he or she is something very special and always loved, regardless what will happen. It is her role to give children a sense of being center of a loving world. In other words, the mother's job is to provide them with a lasting deep feeling, that they are loved, and they deserve to be loved. This feeling gives the children the very important lust for life and a lifelong feeling of happiness. Moreover, it is the foundation for the survival instinct.
The Father's pragmatic commitment to work and serve allows him to support the traditional family, where the children grow up and mature, generally free of worries, under the supervision of the mother. The Father's role will within the family represent the super-ego and thus the cold and powerful external world and its demand, that the child must earn its right to love. Through his values and demands for discipline the child gradually understands the outer world's indifference and requirements. Over time the children, especially boys, will make the father's prohibitions and rules to their own and thus becoming prepared for adulthood. It is the fathers job to teach them about a good day's work, to speak the truth and keep their promises. It is from the father they must get their values about loyalty to their family, their God, their king and their nation. Complying with the demands of the super-ego gives a feeling of pride, self confidence and self-realization.
The nymph Narcissus, who falls in love with his own reflection.
A person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder is described as being too preoccupied with questions of personal adequacy, his power, prestige and vanity.
The cause of narcissism is not known, various researchers have identified some possibilities:
- An inborn over-sensitive temperament.
- The child has been to much praised for presumed exceptional looks or abilities by adults .
- The child had got excessive admiration that never had been balanced with realistic feedback.
- Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for poor behaviors in childhood.
- The child had been overindulged and overvaluated by the parents.
- Severe emotional abuse in childhood.
- Unpredictable or unreliable caretaking by parents.
- The parents have used the child as a means to increase their own self-esteem.
- Some narcissistic traits are common and they are a normal developmental phase for yongsters. However, if the person does not develop normal social relationships (i.e. by moving around), they can continue into adulthood and intensify.
- Some Freudian scholars believe that if a child does not get sufficient credit for his talents in 3-7 years of age, it will keep the early narcissistic traits and never mature.
However in the late sixties a catastrophe occurred for Western civilization: the role of the father was rejected. The generation that grew up in the fifties, must have seen something about their father, which caused them to turn away from him. Perhaps the advent of modern industrial production, the new large companies or the welfare state may have made the father's work and effort for the family more invisible and to seem less important than before - or the increased prosperity and the welfare state made his demand - that they must face the real world - seems unfair.
The traditional bipolar family, as Freud understood it, has been replaced by the modern monopolar family centered around the mother and her unconditional love. Even in intact families where the biological father is still present, a modern liberated woman will most likely not allow a man with a actual father's role in her intimacy. She wants a nice guy, kind and joyfull to have around, who will "help with the children", a kind of assistant mother.
This leads to that children do not mature as before, they will not be prepared to stand face to face with the real world and its ruthless laws of nature and its myriad of other agents, who have their own interests and do not automatically love them. They are showing teen-age behavior well into their thirties, and to a great extent they seek to avoid taking responsibility for themselves or others. They have a deteriorating labor discipline, and their values are often simply part of staging their own apperance.
Editorial in Information 25. juni 1945
See : MASCULINITY AND THE MEANING OF WORK: A RESPONSE TO MANICHEAN FEMINISM af Howard S. Schwartz School of Business Administration Oakland University
In The Brussel Journal Thomas F. Bertonneau has published a detailed review of: Society Against Itself: Howard Schwartz On The Suicide Of Western Civilization and among other indicated similarities between Schwarz and Nietzsche.
Se også: Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia
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